Funny sex quotes can apply to virtually any situation.
Whether or not it was intentionally sexy, we have some choice quotes from movies to hilariously describe your love life. Just be careful where you’re reading these.
“Darling it’s better down here where it’s wetter.”
From the song “Under The Sea” – The Little Mermaid
We all know that Disney movies have plenty of choice quotes that can be taken sexually. The Little Mermaid has plenty of them, but this one is probably our favorite. In context, it’s an innocent ballad to the ocean. Out of context, it’s a sexual quote that you can’t unhear.
“Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.”
– Annie Hall
Annie Hall is a classic movie with some classic quotes for all situations. This particular quote is one of the most poignant descriptions of masturbation out there, and we love it.
“The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”
– Crimes and Misdemeanors
Jokes about not getting laid never get old, but they’re also one of the most over-saturated comedy topics. This quote from Crimes and Misdemeanors is a hilariously clever way to self-depreciate.
“See, women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place.”
– City Slickers
It’s a common theme in movies that men will have sex with virtually anyone, and this quote from City Slickers sums up that idea perfectly.
“You realize we’re all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.”
– American Pie
American Pie has more funny sex quotes than probably any of the other movies on this list. It was hard to choose a favorite, but this will have to do.
“My closest relationship is with my Blackberry. Thank God it vibrates!”
– Valentines Day
Even though half of the people reading this don’t know what a Blackberry is anymore, this quote is still timeless.
“See, when a girl decides that you’re her friend, you’re no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.”
– Just Friends
Being in the friend zone is always a funny topic for sex jokes. This quote from Just Friends makes the list for its hilarious comparison of a friend to a lamp.
“When I was a little boy, I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille, and I used to rub the dirty parts.”
This lesser-known film from 1971 has quite a few hilarious quotes, but this one is one of our favorites because of its unique topic. Where else can you say that you heard a joke about Braille pornography?
“I couldn’t really say. He wasn’t circumcised.”
“Was he funny lookin’ apart from that?”
As far as funny sex quotes go, there are surprisingly few about circumcision. However, this back and forth conversation from Fargo will have you laughing all the way from your circumcision clinic in London.
Well, there you have it. Hopefully, these quotes brightened up your day and made you feel a little better about your sex life. If you’re still looking for laughs, we have more hilarious quotes about everything from weed to motherhood.