15 Epic and Hilarious Quotes About Weed

marijuana quotes

Marijuana has been a part of American culture since the United States became a country. It’s been a part of human culture since long before that.

Granted, it’s been the subject of controversy over the years and still is today. However, as with anything controversial, marijuana has also given way to some interesting quotes.

Below are fifteen of the funniest marijuana quotes we could find.

1. “Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?” Willie Nelson

It probably shouldn’t surprise anyone that Willie Nelson is on this list. He’s been a long-time advocate of marijuana legalization. In fact, he’s almost more famous for it than he is for making music, which is what made him famous in the first place.

2. “The biggest killer on the planet is stress and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis.” Willie Nelson

Another quote by Willie Nelson. Unfortunately, there’s one big hole in this argument. Technically, the biggest killer on the planet is heart disease, which can be partly caused by stress

That being said, those that already have a high risk or a history of heart disease should not treat it with marijuana. It reduces stress, but it also affects the cardiovascular system in a way that makes the risk of a heart attack much higher immediately after using marijuana.

In other words, the jury is kind of out on this one.

3. “I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it.” Andy Warhol

Most supporters of legalization argue that marijuana has several medical benefits and practical uses. Incense isn’t usually among them, but whatever makes you happy.

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4. “Make the most you can of the Indian hemp seed and sow it everywhere.” George Washington

This one is a bit of a cop-out. Though hemp was a huge part of colonial life, most colonists had little interest in smoking it. Instead, they used the hemp plant to create rope, and for medicinal purposes.

Keep in mind, the THC was not part of these medicines. Eventually, people would start using it more commonly for recreation, but not so much in the 18th century.

5. “That is not a drug, it’s a leaf” Arnold Schwarzenegger

Technically, yeah, it is a leaf. A big part of the whole controversy revolves around the argument of what a drug actually is. Technically both illegal substances and medical substances are called drugs, at least in conversation.

Many would testify that caffeine is also a drug, but it’s not illegal and it’s very unlikely to kill you. Alcohol and tobacco are dangerous drugs but are both legal. Maybe we need a new definition of what a drug is.

6. “When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.” Bill Clinton.

You didn’t inhale? Is there any wonder you didn’t like it?

7. “When I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” Barack Obama

This is very true. Clinton could learn a thing or two from our last president. Of course, Obama couldn’t play saxophone, so there’s that.

8. “Stop killing each other man. Let’s just smoke a blunt.” Tupac

Weird question, but has anybody ever seriously tried this? Has anybody tried, for instance, filling a gas grenade with marijuana smoke and having riot police throw it, or maybe fill up a bomb with it and drop it on a rival country? It’s very possible that after ten minutes, nobody will be angry anymore.

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9. “Of course I know how to roll a joint.” Martha Stewart

Wow. Prison really changed you, didn’t it?

10. “You either make it illegal, in which case you support a huge underground economy, or you tax it within the limits people can afford.” Kevin O’Leary

This is very true. The business of dealing marijuana is worth several billion, which would definitely help the economy.

The idea of an underground, illegal enterprise would still be there. It may be smaller, but chances are the drug lords would just find something else they can sell.

11. “I’ve never taken drugs of any kind, never had a glass of alcohol. Never had a cigarette, never had a cup of coffee.” Donald Trump

Is that even possible in this day and age? If this is true, then wow.

12. “[Marijuana] doesn’t have a high potential for abuse, and there are very legitimate medical applications. In fact, sometimes marijuana is the only thing that works…It is irresponsible not to provide the best care we can as a medical community, care that could involve marijuana.” Dr. Sanjay Gupta

Marijuana has been shown to treat a lot of conditions, so it might very well be immoral to not at least allow it as a medicine. Unfortunately, not everyone can get up and go to a clinic.

Some patients are home-bound, and others just don’t happen to live near a dispensary, so they instead have to buy medical marijuana online. If anyone out there wants to learn more about how to do this, please click on the attached link.

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13. “I’ve been smoking marijuana for 44 years now, and…I think it’s a tremendous blessing.” Lester Grinspoon

One would hope so. Who would use something they despised for 44 years?

14. “Why use up the forests which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down, if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields?” Henry Ford

Interesting idea, but the simple answer to this question is that we can’t. Hemp is useful, but we can’t build houses out of it as easily as wood. It’s more efficient to make iron tools than hemp ones.

Should we invest more in hemp? Yes, but we’ll still need the forests and mines, too.

15. “Everything is better with a bag of weed” Seth MacFarlane, as Stewie Griffin

Finishing up our list of marijuana quotes is this gem from an episode of Family Guy. A lot of stuff probably is better with weed, but certainly not everything. For instance, you probably shouldn’t operate heavy machinery while high.

Bringing the Best of Marijuana Quotes

There have been some very interesting things said about marijuana, only a few of which we could list here. If you want to find more, we encourage you to do a little research.

If you want to read more interesting lists and facts, please visit our site. You might want to read some funny quotes about Las Vegas. Maybe you just want to read some funny things that kids have said. We can help with that, too.