15 Hilarious Excuses People Have Used to Get Out of Work

excuses to get out of work

All employers know the headache of the dreaded “getting out of work” phone call. In fact, studies show that one in five Americans is late for work at least once a week.

It takes a lot of creativity to get out of your responsibilities, and some of the excuses to get out of work people use are hilarious.

However, we’ve scoured the internet to put together a hilarious list of stories people have used to get out of work, of all time. From pet fish giving birth, to catching motion sickness from playing Mario, we guarantee you’ve never heard “get out of work” excuses like these!

If you need a reason to get out of your work for a few minutes, then keep on reading!

1) It’s me! Mario…

One guy called into work sick with motion sickness from playing super Mario odyssey. The graphics were so intense the man came down with flu-like symptoms for a whole day and couldn’t make it to his job that morning.

Moral of the story, always take some Dramamine before playing Super Mario.

2) Speaking of funny excuses….

This poor employee called in late of work because they got their arm got stuck in a blood pressure machine. Mom always warned us not to play around on those things.

3) You make one wrong turn and…

And you may end up walking onto an airplane. An employee called their boss from another state trying to explain how they accidentally boarded an aircraft.

4) This guy was bowling the game of his life and couldn’t leave…

Talk about how to get out of work–this guy was on a roll, literally. We are still confused about what kind of job starts at the same time that people go bowling.

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5) The loss of a member of the family

Grieving a loved one is a real thing, and shouldn’t be used lightly as an excuse to call out of work. However, this lady was grieving the 2-year anniversary of her cat going missing and was so distressed she couldn’t make it into work.

We’re wondering what she did on the first anniversary….

6) You can’t work if you don’t have pants

One time a girl called into work because she didn’t have any pants. She left them in the washing machine of her parents’ house, who lived a couple a couple of hours away.

When her boss told her she needed to store to buy herself a new pair, she claimed they didn’t have any “in her size.”

7) Have you ever heard of a Deerbra?

We had to look this one up too. This employee hit a “deerbra” which is a mix between a “deer” and a “zebra.” The damage was so substantial that he couldn’t drive into work the next morning.

He may or may not have passed the ensuing “random” drug test…

Speaking of drug references, you have to check out our list of the funniest weed jokes!

8) When passion interferes with work…

Nothing says “I love you” with a fiery intensity like getting a pan of hot, grits thrown in your face. But that’s what caused this guy to miss out on work on the morning. He called his boss claiming that his girlfriend threw his steaming-hot breakfast right in his face.

We don’t know what prompted her to do this, but we’re sure some biscuit reference was involved.

9) He took the whole “bird-flu” scare to a new level…

Alright, we get it–pets are a part of the family. And this guy had to stay home from work because his bird caught “the flu.”

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We’re not sure if this counts as a sick day or a personal day, but we hope the little guy ended up okay!

10) Which Spider-man movie is the best Spider-man movie?

Of all the reasons to call out of work, watching a movie seems like the least important. This guy had the guts to call off work to watch Spiderman 3. It was a good move because his boss left to join him!

11) The most special day of your life…

They say that the arrival of a newborn is a moment you should never miss. At least this guy thought so when he called off work so that he could witness his fish giving birth.

His fish was some exotic endangered species that eats its babies if left alone with them. No wonder they are going extinct.

12) We are sorry we laughed at this one

This story was so wild he had to have his friend call his boss from the hospital to confirm it. A man in Oregon bought a new “fixer-upper” house. Read, former crack-house.

Someone had a score to settle with the previous owners, and a stranger walked up and shot this man in the leg while he was getting ready for work. He called his boss, and his boss refused to believe that he had just gotten shot by a crack-head at 8 am.

Luckily the story made the news, and the boss apologized and let it slide.

13) Some stories you can’t make up…

Video games aren’t as safe as people make them out to be. A Man hurt himself playing World of Warcraft by jumping up to fast and splitting his head open (he may have been slightly drunk).

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He drove himself to the hospital, and when he tried to explain himself, he ended up admitted to the psychiatric ward. When he was finally released three days later, he tried explaining the whole thing to his boss, who didn’t believe him either.

14) This is why you should leave the gardening to the professionals

This poor girl missed work because she was accidentally poisoned by her Mom. The story goes that her mom thought she picked “spinach” out of the garden for her salad that night.

It turns out it wasn’t spinach, and she ended up spending three days with a killer stomach ache.

15) Cat got trapped inside of his desk…

Honestly, there could be a whole blog dedicated to the stories of people whose cats made them late for work. Luckily for this guy, when he called in, the boss could hear the meowing of the cat through the phone.

Try any of these excuses to get out of work

Alright, we’ve had our fun now its time to get back to work! We don’t want to be another one of your excuses to get out of work.

And if you need a good system for keeping track of your employee’s hours, then you have to check out the Time Clock Wizard. They have everything need to keep your employees, excuse-free and on time.

But if your boss isn’t using Time Clock Wizard and you need a few more minutes of distraction, then head on over to the blog for even more hilarious stories and quotes!