15 of the Absolute Best Stoner Quotes of All-Time

stoner quotes

The word “stoner” is taboo in certain circles. When some people think of stoners, they think of lazy, good-for-nothing high school dropouts.

And that’s a mild description of the modern stoner in some circles.

Little do some opponents of the burning bush know, good highs sometimes make us the wisest versions of ourselves. If you don’t believe us, all you have to do is ask the great musicians, leaders, comedians, and poets of the past.

Better yet, why don’t you just let us show you what we mean?

Here are 15 of the absolute best stoner quotes of all-time:

1. Carl Sagan

“The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship, so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world.”

Astronomer Carl Sagan expresses outrage over the illegality of cannabis. It seems that Sagan had a vested interest in getting high.

And we’re not talking about space exploration.

2. The Holy Bible

“And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.”

And let us pray that God’s will be done.

3. Robin Williams

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.”

We’ve missed this comedian’s insights every day since he passed away in Aug. 2014. May he rest in peace.

4. Edgar Allan Poe

“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.”

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Who would have thought that even Poe himself had a hard time digesting the Gothic themes which abounded in his texts? We should be so grateful that this literary great’s stimulants saw him through his rough patches.

5. Jerry Garcia

“Nobody stopped thinking about those psychedelic experiences. Once you’ve been to some of those places, you think, “How can I get back there again but make it a little easier on myself?”

Which famous stoner quotes capture the feeling of wanting to blaze up again better than this one?

6. Terence McKenna

If the words ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’ don’t include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn’t worth the hemp it was written on.

McKenna positions marijuana as the foundation of American democracy. Figuratively and literally.

7. Barack Obama

“When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.”

Even former president Barack Obama has flirted with Mary Jane. And he’s not alone. Bill Clinton has admitted to using marijuana in the past as well.

Unfortunately, Clinton’s story doesn’t have a happy ending. According to Clinton, he didn’t inhale.

It looks like Clinton could stand to learn how to take a presidential puff…

8. Louis Armstrong

“[it] makes you forget all the bad things that happen to a Negro. It makes you feel wanted, and when you’re with another tea smoker, it makes you feel a special kinship.”

Louis Armstrong talks about the herb’s ability to transcend even racial prejudice and foster kinship.

9. Steve Martin

“I used to smoke marijuana. But I’ll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening – or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, mid-evening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late mid-afternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early-morning…But never at dusk.”

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Steve Martin, are you high right now?

10. Bill Hicks

“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?”

Well…doesn’t it?

11. Peter Tosh

“I don’t smoke marijuana, man. Marijuana is a girl from Cuba…Ganja…is a bird from Australia, I smoke herb.”

Reggae musician Peter Tosh didn’t need fancy names for his highs. He preferred to keep things simple with herb.

12. Aldous Huxley

“If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution — then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise.”

Novelist Aldous Huxley uses a lot of fancy words to say what every stoner already knows:

Smoking marijuana is more restorative than opponents give it credit for. Aside from some serious cases of the munchies, we can’t think of any negative effects of blazing up.

Despite the vocal opponents, some businesses and institutions are warming up to Huxley’s idea. He’d be happy to see how many entrepreneurs and great minds have adopted marijuana to ease aches and pains.

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This company, for instance, sells restorative marijuana-infused waxes, creams, lotions, and other products. Huxley would have loved to shop at a similar place back in his day.

13. Bob Marley

“When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself.”

Always true to his nature, Bob Marley believed that herb was a tool which inspired self-reflection.

14. Henry Ford

“Why use up the forests which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down, if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields?”

Henry Ford was way ahead of his time. He saw the industrial potential in marijuana over half a century ago. He believed in the power of marijuana so much that he created a prototype car that was made from marijuana fiber in 1941.

15. Willie Nelson

“The biggest killer on the planet is stress and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis.”

As it turns out, some clinical studies have confirmed this activist’s suspicions. We suppose marijuana speaks to the soul before it speaks to the scientist.

Looking for More Stoner Quotes?

If you’re looking for more stoner quotes, give these 12 powerful quotes about marijuana and CBD a try. At least a couple of them are sure to resonate with you.

Anyone who’s still hungry for inspirational quotes should take a look around our website. We have a wide variety of quotes that are just waiting to be read.

And if you’re feeling bold or insanely high today? Contact us to send us some of your favorite quotes. They could be your own original quotes or words taken straight from Chewbacca’s mouth. We don’t discriminate.